508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
