so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize