shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize