WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And then the night went full on bisexual.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
