im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
