WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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