And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize