That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
