Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
