dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And then my night got REAL pukey
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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