True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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