I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
