I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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