I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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