Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize