he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He passed out mid-signature
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
