I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
