If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize