see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
