That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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