Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
