Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
