I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
