I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
