yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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