Someone shit on the floor
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I forget how to act sober
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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