so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
vagina is talking i cant
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
