I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
