I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
