it wasn't lemon gatorade
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
