im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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