Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
