I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
