i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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