If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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