it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
