He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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