ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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