Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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