if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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