I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
