I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
