just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
