Little spoons don't ask big questions
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
