you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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