I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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