Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
