i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
