Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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