so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
