Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
