we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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