Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
