You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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