1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
a search helicopter?!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
