That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
