Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
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