dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
