I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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