We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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