"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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