the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
