Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Buhtt sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
