am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize