She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
