i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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