I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
