you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
